Bringing the kids out for a swim makes me feel awesome. Because they are so happy in the pool and seeing them happy makes me happy. I would call it happiness by osmosis but since we're in the pool then my Science lessons kick in and I ask, should it be called happiness by diffusion instead?
Whatever. They're happy. I'm happy.
But then after the swim - wait, before the after swim, there is the "time to go now" part, which ranges from 5 minutes to an hour - there is the shower. Now, we don't live in a place with a pool so there's the question of whether or not to have a full shower at the pool's shower facilities. There are pros and cons to having a full shower versus just a wipe down.
At times when we choose the full shower, I take a deep breath and remind myself that it means we can take our time to head home because the girls won't need to rush to wash and dry their hair before bed. Which is a good thing because they're likely to be cranky by the time we're home.
But showering at a public toilet with two kids can be challenging.
For purposes of illustration, we are clothed in the drawings. Naturally we are like any other normal human beings and do not wear clothes in the shower. So you'll just have to imagine that. Wait actually no, don't imagine us clothe-less. Just take it that we shower with clothes. That would make things easier.
First up is question of the shower head. Is it a powerful spray? Is it a mere trickle? Is it even working. A trickle would be frustrating for adults because that would mean you'd have to almost press your body against the wall for an hour to get all your soap off. A powerful spray can sometimes present itself in the form of vapour almost and it could also take a while to get clean.
But having two slippery squealing kids just adds on to the fun. We follow the law of gravity even in the shower so it's hair then body. But in order for shampoo to be rinsed off easily, head needs first to get wet.
Water too cold? Water too hot? Water spray too strong! Water flow too weak? Whatever it is, the chances of screams are high. And in a small cubicle, be prepared for echoes.
So I adopt the car wash approach. Shampoo for one, shampoo for the other. Soap one, followed by the other. Rise one off, then the other. Towel to big one, towel off small one.
But sometimes I also feel a need to be clean and fresh. Somewhat like a sanitary napkin I guess. So I shower too. With the two of then in audience.
So strict instructions follow, barked loud enough for the entire toilet to hear. "Stand right here! Don't move! Don't touch anything! Don't let your towel touch the floor! Don't get soapy again! Stop splashing!"
My shower is usually done in 3 minutes flat. But there's plenty of time for plenty of this.
Until one cries or yells or screams. But mostly it's "She pushed me"s and "She started it"s.
And then it stops and they both find something in common - they're pointing and laughing at something. I realize it's me.
"Mama's best!" My small one says.
O.... Kay. A weird moment to declare her admiration for me but alright, I accept it anyway.
The big one clarifies.
"Breast! I can sell breast! B-R-E-A-S-T!"
Oh. Great. I'm now a real-time biological specimen.
So there's a bit more pointing, a lot more laughing, followed by more "Mama what's that? NIP-PLE! Hahah Mama's nipple! Hahahaha"
Yes. Apparently it's hilarious.
So we get dressed and try not to drop our clean clothes on the slippery public toilet floor. There's a lot of balancing and "hold my shoulders!" "Don't pull my hair!" "Ouch" and all.
And then we're done and leave, ready to face the world again.