It was one of those days for me - I'd seen a couple of nice ideas on home improvement on some blogs and started to get fidgety and unsatisfied with my own home.
My home's always been a rather work-in-progress kind of place, and even though we've lived here for a long time, I've not had many moments where I would sink into the sofa and look around, and sigh and say "Yup, this is it, my home is perfect". Because it's not.
The baby's starting to use the sofa as a canvas, bits of paint peeling from the walls from where they've been bumped by little ride-on cars and little doll prams, re-flattened pieces of furniture that have yet to be put on sale and are currently hiding in corners around the house. For the longest time, we've been talking about the possibility of getting ceiling fans for the bedrooms, but haven't done so. Why? Dude, if only I knew.
But what gets on my nerves the most is that the dining table's too far from the window so it doesn't get any sun, which means when Poppy does her school work there (we don't have a proper work table for her because there's no space for it, and she's too tall for the IKEA baby range to sit comfortably for too long), we've got to have the light on, and I really don't like having the light on in the middle of the day.
And so my husband, my wonderful husband, sees my grumpy face and starts throwing ideas around. Perhaps we could move a few items around and try to swap dining and living areas? What he was proposing wasn't impossible, but it involved quite a bit of work. Plus we had both I-don't-want-to-nap kids with us, who really wanted to help.
We did it anyway. A whole afternoon of measuring, moving furniture, vacuuming, cleaning, trying not to trip over little children helping.
And this is probably where you'd expect me to say that I'm totally happy with the new change. Well. Let's just say I'll need some time to get used to it. There's still lots to be done. Lots of tweaking. A few nights of waking and walking to the toilet without bumping into things. Stuff to throw, stuff to repack, stuff to buy. I'll need to, I don't know, put up some things and move more around to get used to the view from where I sit when I'm working on my computer.
But you know what? Amidst the horrid mood and the frowns and the irritation of everything thrown together, this happened:
And it hit home: I've been busying myself in an attempt to create a nicer home for everyone to feel happy and relaxed in, but I failed to realise that the little ones don't care if our pillowcases match, if the dining table is messy, if toys are thrown all around, or if the window grilles are a little (or a lot) dusty. They have all they need to be happy.
Maybe I will grow to like this new arrangement, maybe I won't. Maybe I'll have to make a few more trips to IKEA, spend a couple more hours on Amazon, check out a few more pseudo antique shops for the look of our home to feel more 'in place'. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. But for now, I'll learn to live with it, and try to enjoy it, as my children do.
Ps Poppy got up to pee and said "Mama, I like the house like this; it's very nice". Of course, it was also an attempt to stay up a little longer.